Yugguy
Torque King
Well I needed to change a headlight bulb on the focus on saturday.
The handbook said:
Unclip the wiring connector.
Pull back the retaining spring.
Fit new bulb and replace the spring and wiring.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no no.
Here's what you actually need to do.
Pull like buggery on the weather cover until it comes off.
Constantly scrape the flesh off your knuckles on a spar of metal THAT DOESNT NEED TO BE THERE AND DOESNT NEED TO BE THAT SHARP.
Pull on the wiring connector. Pull harder cos the wretched thing won't come off. When it finally comes off bang your hand on the sharp metal spar. AGAIN.
Notice that because of the pulling the bulb has lodged in its housing and the retaining spring has moved so far it is impossible to pull it back round.
All this is happening while you peer down the one inch gap to try and see the actual bulb. You can't see it but you do a damn good impression of the elephant man as you contort yourself to get a better view.
Realise you need to take the headlamp unit out as there is no way of getting to that spring. Swear a lot.
Take the two top retaining bolts off. Notice that something is still stopping the unit coming out. Refer to the manual and find out there's a bolt under the wheel arch.
Take the wheel off, and half the liner. Lie on the ground while mud falls in your eye as you manouver a spanner into the smallest gap possible.
Take the headlamp unit out. Change the bulb, finally.
Put everything back.
Tell the missus to stop whining you didnt realise it was going to take this chuffin long, they dont build cars properly these days....
Have a coffee and decide NEVER to do anything on a car again.
The handbook said:
Unclip the wiring connector.
Pull back the retaining spring.
Fit new bulb and replace the spring and wiring.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no no.
Here's what you actually need to do.
Pull like buggery on the weather cover until it comes off.
Constantly scrape the flesh off your knuckles on a spar of metal THAT DOESNT NEED TO BE THERE AND DOESNT NEED TO BE THAT SHARP.
Pull on the wiring connector. Pull harder cos the wretched thing won't come off. When it finally comes off bang your hand on the sharp metal spar. AGAIN.
Notice that because of the pulling the bulb has lodged in its housing and the retaining spring has moved so far it is impossible to pull it back round.
All this is happening while you peer down the one inch gap to try and see the actual bulb. You can't see it but you do a damn good impression of the elephant man as you contort yourself to get a better view.
Realise you need to take the headlamp unit out as there is no way of getting to that spring. Swear a lot.
Take the two top retaining bolts off. Notice that something is still stopping the unit coming out. Refer to the manual and find out there's a bolt under the wheel arch.
Take the wheel off, and half the liner. Lie on the ground while mud falls in your eye as you manouver a spanner into the smallest gap possible.
Take the headlamp unit out. Change the bulb, finally.
Put everything back.
Tell the missus to stop whining you didnt realise it was going to take this chuffin long, they dont build cars properly these days....
Have a coffee and decide NEVER to do anything on a car again.
