I've now owned 11 cars since 1971, and only once had to have work done to a clutch - even then it was the thrust bearing I'd worn out, not the plates. I do a lot of town driving, with a lot of gear changes, but I take a pragmatic view when in a jam not to blast away from every green light in sight. Of course every change takes its toll on the thrust bearing, but not every change needs to burn the clutch.
I'd hazard a guess that my up-changes aren't the culprit when it comes to plate wear, since I only really slip it in first gear. If there's really is a knack to it, it's making sure that engine revs and gearbox speed are the same as the clutch re-engages (hence this thread about double-declutching). If I'm honest, I'm not so good at down-changes, but then I don't practice anything fancy apart from easing the revs up, as I let the clutch up.
Clutch life will also be affected by how long you spend in high gears - if you spend your life on a motorway in lighter traffic, the clutch is likely to last for, well, donkey's years. My Golf Gti's clutch was still working fine when I sold it with 120K on the clock, and that's even with 75% of its miles being done in traffic.
Mind you, I just traded in a C4 diesel 2.0 with 6 gears - this was just starting to show signs of slipping in top if you floored the pedal at around its maximum torque speed. So I guess that's another factor - how much power are you trying to stuff through it even when it's fully engaged?