Excuses to get off a speeding ticket?

obi_waynne

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Blue lights - sickening feeling in your stomach. Policeman gets out and walks up to your car - very slowly to build the tension. "Ok so wheres the fire son?" :rolleyes: . Policeman leans through your window "Did you know you were doing 36 in a 30 zone?" :shock: .

I don't know about you but I'm never any good at thinking up witty replies in these sorts of situations so I was hoping you could provide me with a repository of amusing quips or excuses that would get me off a ticket. :twisted:

(I'm not condoning the excessive speeding in the example above and we will just assume that the above drivers concentration wained - hey that's me a little and the speed crept up without him or her realising :eek: .)
 
The first time i got pulled by the police i had my rottweiler puppy in the car and they were so obsessed with the pup, they forgot what they had pulled me over for......phew!
I have never been caught for speeding, but 2 christmas's ago, i got pulled over in the poilce annual tyre check. My laguna was border line and i told them i was actually on my way to quickfit. They followed me and waiting outside while i got the tyres changed, even though quickfit told me they were still above the legal limit.
I think some police are just in a bad mood at times and like to pick on people.
I know one of my friends got pulled over for speeding and started to cry and said she had just had a big fight with her boyfriend and the police let her off with a warning. She hadnt actually been fighting, she was just in a hurry!!!!
 
The first time i got pulled by police for speeding i said im very sorry officer but i have just passed my test and didnt realise then i said would you like to see my license as if iwas so excited i had passed my test.he said its ok but in future watch your speed.the second time i done the same......next time i might not be so lucky..
 
no lie i was doing 63 in a 30 which i thought was a 60 because it had two lanes like a duel carriageway but no. at the time i saw showing of how loud was my mini was.another mod cars i had! 8) anyway got pulled over and he said thats a fast mini for a 998cc i just :) and said yer.we talked for a bit and he told me he had one then said get on your way and keep to the speed limits. what a result :!: :!: :!: i was so scared i was lookingin my mirrors loads from then and at speed signs!!
 
I'm thinking here that I need to be a girlie to stand the best chance of getting off. Might buy a puppy and a mini - maybe that would be enough. Can't pretend to have just passed my test - as my licence is eched on a stone tablet. I had a friend who got stopped for speeding and he said he was only doing what is said on his licence. When the policeman asked what that was he pointed to the bit above the Organ Doner part which clearly says "Tear along dotted line" - he got let off as well!
 
mum thinks that he was gay :lol: thats why he let me off? dont care if he was as i didn't get any points or a fine! :lol: :lol: my last name is law! funny when they ask my name.
 
A guy recently said "a friend from south africa was driving" - the Police dropped the charge but got suspicious when it happened another 3 times! They asked to see his car insurance and see if he had added this driver to his policy and at this point he FESSED up. He has just been jailed for 2 years for wasting police time!
 
It always helps to be polite. Do NOT, however, admit to ANYTHING when you're stopped. If you're asked if you knew how fast you were travelling then reply simply 'yes'. It's reasonable to assume that the police don't actually have enough concrete evidence to make a sound case for a formal court hearing. If you reply nn miles per hour that's tantamount to a confession which makes it much harder for you to overturn the fixed penalty offer in a subsequent court hearing.

Asking for evidence of calibration usually winds them up, but, if you think you're being treated unfairly then stick to your guns. Expect a roadside bollocking anyway and no admission of inadequacies on behalf of the police but you might well walk away with nothing to report.

You can also ask the police to be accurate in their statements. I was stopped by an unmarked police pursuit vehicle and accused of travelling at speeds between 109 and 114mph. (This was on a deserted dry dual carriageway BTW, in good light). I asked the officer to be more specific (ie. 109 or 114) as I could not be travelling at both speeds at the same time unless of course their equipment was that far out of alignment. Got away with it after a quick discussion regarding the penalties that COULD (past tense) have been imposed.

Above all - be careful - try not to get caught out.
 
I've been stopped numerous times, at the start of this year I got pulled 4 times in a month. They always gave a bull *#*#*#*# excuse like no insurance but when I ask them to radio back to control and let me hear them state I had no insurance they wouldn't do it. I could never be too lippy because I had an old vw mkII and I knew for sure they could find something wrong.

One thing I did learn from all the pulls was to let the weasels have their power trip, the quicker u let them think their the boss the sooner ur off.

You'll love this one tho....

b4 I had my license I used to cycle to work. One day I went thru 2 red lights at mid day on a quiet road and got pulled by the traffic cops. The pricks gave me a £30 fine for going thru one light and said I was lucky not to get a second for going thru the second hahaha. And all the time I’m in the back of the car I can see drivers going pass on there mobiles hahahaha classic.
 
Cameras take all the fun out of the 'blag and negotiate' with the policeman - I guess if its on film and you are 'in the system' you'll get a ticket automatically. :( How long do they take to come through typically?
 
I remember thet first time i got pulled over by the cops, i was doin 60 in a 40 at about 2 in the morning, but some how i managed to blag that one i think the excuse i used was my girlfriend had gone into labor and i was rushing to pick her up to take her to the hospital, and thank god they believed me (even though i didnt have a girlfriend at the time lol)
 
i used the Girlfreind is about to give birth one ages ago and i had an unexpected escort home then the copper waited while i rushed in, filled in the ex missus on what id done and helped her downstairs, she was only 6 and a half months gone at the time, escort to the hospital a+e where he let me off with a verbal "take it easy son, your baby needs a daddy"

We had to wait 20minutes and leave via the main hospital entrance.

2 months later i was doing it for real!!!



Voices
 
I found out today that even emergency vehicles have to respect speed limits but when showing blue lights they are allowed to go a little bit over the posted limit (20mph I think.)

Now if I had some blue lights I wonder if I could claim I'm part of a secret MI5 division on a covert operation? ;)
 
Mate was a driver in the RAF. one of his stories was that he used to be the chauffeur for the station commander.

During one nights gathering at another station it went on a few hours longer than he had expected. At last it finishes and he wants to get back home.

Station commander bundled into the back of the car and off they went at an undisclosed speed. Several miles down the motorway pair of blue lights starts flashing. As he pulled over the commander in the back woke up.
Police ask for ID he hands over his 1250 (Old RAF ID card) he gets asked why he is going so fast. Answer was he had to go get the station commander and get him back for a MOD emergency meeting. The SC starts shouting in the back who he is and that he needs to get to the base yesterday for an emergency security meeting .
Cue Blues and Twos escort back to the base
 
I got pulled twice in one weekend once. Then another time in my old BM 328, got "nice car, try keep it that way" and let off. Another at the top of my road about 3-4 months ago. Watched me pull out of my drive and nail it over the motorway bridge towards him at what can only have been up to 70-80 before I saw him and slowed and he waved me in. Said he'd seen me pull out of the drive and commented just how nice the vehicle was (Focus ST at the time) and said take it steady you should know better with this being your road, fortunately I saw you come from your driveway so I'll let you on your way". Have to confess I bricked it but nice copper, can't fault it. Always keep a nice car, they respect it for some reason :D

A good line i once heard was:
Copper, "I've been waiting for you all day"
Driver, "Well, I got here as fast as I could"
 
^^^ I can imagine me saying that line, my feet would not touch the ground and my next hot meal would be porridge :embarrest:
 
I very luckily got away with a finger wagging in 2006: 95mph on a 70mph dual carriageway.

I suspect that below 90 the unmarked car would not have bothered at all with me.
 
Blue lights - sickening feeling in your stomach. Policeman gets out and walks up to your car - very slowly to build the tension. "Ok so wheres the fire son?" :rolleyes: . Policeman leans through your window "Did you know you were doing 36 in a 30 zone?" :shock: .

I don't know about you but I'm never any good at thinking up witty replies in these sorts of situations so I was hoping you could provide me with a repository of amusing quips or excuses that would get me off a ticket. :twisted:

(I'm not condoning the excessive speeding in the example above and we will just assume that the above drivers concentration wained - hey that's me a little and the speed crept up without him or her realising :eek: .)


Excessive speed in heavy traffic is never a good move. But out in the country side, well away from traffic I always enjoy myself! My favorite phrase is: Hello My fellow Officer, Is it time for coffee and donuts already?? :) Or, Honest Officer, I was keeping well under 100!
 

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